Today, I feel SO in touch with myself and genuinely love the life I have manifested & created for myself… and I feel so proud of the boy I have become.
But, lemme tell ya; it wasn’t always this way. Today I want to explain how my self-development journey all started…
You see, after I finished my form five, with bad grades I realised that I was depressed. My days consisted of self-pity and destructive behaviour patterns; my mind was constantly occupied with negative thoughts. My family went through a very challenging time, and I didn’t have the strength and support to deal with it.
Not only did I spend my time spiralling on self-sabotaging & limiting thoughts, but I also spent the other part of my time people-pleasing.
I was constantly worrying what people might think about me - desperately trying to make them love me. I was faking a lot & hardly ever speaking my own truth, which ultimately made me feel incredibly empty, unworthy of other people's love, and completely misaligned.
You got it, I was sabotaging myself 99 % of the time, feeling completely lost and out of touch with the person I was at my very core. I had no goals, no purpose, and honestly, no desire to keep going like this…
My dream life back then felt so out of reach.
On the outside, I smiled. On the inside, I felt emptiness, fear and emotional pain. I had a lot of trauma I needed to navigate, but I didn't have the tools and support I needed.
My internal reality was shaping my external experience. Superficial friendships, drinking a lot in order to numb myself, overworking to be distracted, looking into the mirror and tearing myself apart. I was caught up in a hamster wheel that I didn't seem to get out of. One day, I woke up and decided that enough was enough.
It was time that I valued myself enough to commit to getting out of this dark place.
I went deep - I withdrew from my superficial friendships and did the internal work.
A lot of it.
I started creating personal policies for myself, I started setting higher standards for myself and others, and over time, I felt different & started showing up differently. Even though I made heaps of progress, it was challenging and… it was dark. Shadow work, inner child healing, trauma release… this work isn't cute or pretty.
But the deeper I went, the more I healed.
My commitment to healing carried me out of depression and, over time, it evolved into a deep desire to share my knowledge and craft all with people around me. I wanted to support & coach others in getting closer to their higher self and creating a fulfilling and successful life for themselves but I’m still yet to grow mentally before I can become a testimony.
Since that day, I’ve been clear on my purpose and mission on this planet.
